Samantha Bee Reveals R-Rated Parenting Technique That Gets Her Kids In Line

Samantha Bee Reveals R-Rated Parenting Technique That Gets Her Kids In Line

“Full Frontal” host Samantha Bee is no stranger to using salty language — and apparently neither are her young children.

And it involves a short, sharp burst of cursing.

I can get them to do anything just by letting them use one piece of salty language in a conversation,” she said. “That’s their treat. It’s the greatest parenting coup that I ever came up with. I’m such a smart parent.”

Bee revealed how her offspring, aged from 6 to 11, preferred being allowed to swear over more regular treats such as chocolate or cake. She then gave a hilarious example of what she lets them say.

New Study: 58% of Republicans say Colleges and Universities are Bad for Our Nation

The facts reported in this new study are absolutely the most important facts that have come across my desk in awhile.  The facts I’m talking about come from a new study by the Pew Research: Sharp Partisan Divisions in Views of National Institutions.  Republicans increasingly say colleges have negative impact on U.S.

The study reported that 58% of Republicans, and 65% of Conservatives, believe colleges and universities have a negative effect on the country.  This is very important to understand.

Why do they believe that colleges and universities are bad?  Easy, Colleges and Universities produce new learning, and for this 58% that is negative, because they believe the Bible is the last word and no new learning is necessary.  And, in fact, any new learning that counters the Bible is negative.

A majority of Republicans and Republican-leaning independents (58%) now say that colleges and universities have a negative effect on the country, up from 45% last year. By contrast, most Democrats and Democratic leaners (72%) say colleges and universities have a positive effect, which is little changed from recent years.

Wide partisan differences over the impact of major institutions on the country

Across educational groups, Republicans give colleges & universities low ratings

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5 Ways to Make College Worth the Effort

A recent post, 5 Ways to Make College a Success by the Gallup Organization, is right on target.

Here is what they said are the 5 specific ways to make your continuing education worth the effort:

  1. A postsecondary degree is a net positive only if it is well focused to the individual
  2. Don’t get a Bachelor’s degree by default
  3. Keep Student Loan debt to a very minimum
  4. Question of the value of “prestigious” schools, and 5) When you learn pay close attention to what you are actually learning.

Here is the quote from them is below.

The thing I would add to their point #5 on maximizing your college effort is, you need to figure out your “Core Competencies” as soon as you can.  You need to have a plan to feed your Core Competencies.  You need to take classes that feed your competencies and you need to take classes from Teachers in your Core Competencies.  I have an iBook on this topic.  http://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1069685032.

 

 

What follows is the best advice from our research — some of it counterintuitive — for making the most of college.

  1. Get a postsecondary credential or degree. But don’t feel like you need to do this until you have a clear — or somewhat clear — idea of your goals. People who graduated from college at a later age were less likely to regret their education paths. In fact, think about career and life goals first. Then think about where you want to go and the majors and fields of study that align with those. Thendecide how much you are willing to spend — or take out in loans — on your education. Many Americans do all of this backward today.
  2. Don’t pursue a bachelor’s degree by default. There are many paths to a great career and fulfilling life, including earning technical and career certificates, associate degrees, etc. And you can always stack credentials and degrees over time. Associate degree holders, for example, are more likely than bachelor’s degree holders to strongly agree that they have the ideal job for them and that they are deeply interested in their work.
  3. Don’t take on more than $25,000 in total student loan debt.Graduates with student loan debt over $25,000 have lower overall well-being and are more likely to regret their education decisions.
  4. Question the value of attending prestigious, highly selective and high-priced colleges and universities. They actually provide little (at best) to no (at worst) advantage in being engaged in your job and in your life outcomes (thriving in your well-being). Nor do they reduce the chances of feeling education regret. College is much more about what you make of it — how you take advantage of your education — than the type of institution you attend.
  5. When you actually attend college, make sure you do the things listed below. Grads who hit the marks on these double their odds of being engaged at work and having thriving well-being later in life:
  • As best you can, pick professors, not courses. Seek professors who have reputations for being amazing teachers and mentors.
  • Invest in a mentor. This goes both ways — someone who agrees to or offers to mentor you, as well as someone you feel is worth the investment of your time.
  • Find a job or internship where you can apply what you’re learning, or work to connect what you’re learning to your current job.
  • Take at least a couple of courses that involve long-term projects requiring a semester or more of work to complete.
  • Don’t try to “pad your resume” with a long list of extracurricular activities; get deeply, lastingly engaged in at least one.

Postsecondary education is a powerful pathway to a great job and a great life — but only if you make the most of it. Spread this advice to everyone you know. After all, it comes from the wisdom of hundreds of thousands of students and alumni.

 

10 Important Ted Talks that Will Help You Change Your Life

The Goal of the Georgia 6th District Learning Community is help us all to learn and grow.  Here are the top Ted Talks we think are helpful to achieve that goal.

The summaries for all of the videos below are just quick introductions to the subject. They can’t really do these speakers’ talks justice, so hopefully you’ll have about 20 minutes to spare for each video (or come back to watch the rest later).

The Action Item for the Learning Community is to describe what are the facts, conclusions, and recommended actions from each of these.  We can then accumulate the facts, conclusions, and recommended actions into the life dashboard.

10. Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are


Change your posture, change your life. Amy Cuddy explains how even faking powerful body language can reduce stress and make you more confident. Adopting a power pose is such a small thing but could make all the difference when you’re in a high-stress situation like a job interview or negotiating a raise.

9. The Power of Vulnerability


We all feel vulnerable and fearful of uncertainty at times, but these situations can be powerful paths to growth. Dr. Brene Brown’s research on human connection finds that happier people tend to accept the unknown and also that being vulnerable made them feel better and beautiful.

8. The Mathematics of Love


Still looking for that special someone? Mathematician Hannah Fry dishes up several math-based tips to find the perfect partner, including not using the perfect online dating photo.

7. Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid


Psychologist Guy Winch argues in his TED talk that too many of us don’t care for our emotional and mental health with the same diligence that we take care of our bodies (and things like brushing our teeth). Loneliness, guilt, and other psychological “injuries” could be even more dangerous than physical traumas. Try to think of emotional wounds as you would physical ones.

6. I Am the Son of a Terrorist. Here’s How I Chose Peace.


“It takes a lot of energy to hold hate inside you.” That’s the message from Zak Ebrahim’s moving TED talk, his story of choosing a different path than the violence and bigotry he was raised in. Though his story is about a very specific subject of terrorism and bullying, Ebrahim shares a few important lessons: You can use your experience to develop better empathy, actually getting to know people of different walks of life will expand your own life, and whatever your environment or family’s ideology, you are not them.

5. How to Speak So That People Want to Listen


Everybody wants to be heard when they speak—not just heard, but listened to. Part of it is we could all use to become better listeners, but another part of it is changing how we communicate with others. Sound consultant Julian Treasure offers the HAIL method of talking to others so they’ll trust what you say and pay attention: Honesty, Authenticity, Integrity, and Love.

4. How to Make Hard Choices


You can’t go through life without making difficult decisions. Philosopher Ruth Change helps us make life-changing decisions by looking within yourself—it’s an opportunity to decide who you want to be.

3. Why We Do What We Do


What motivates you and makes you do the things that you do? What drives you today? Tony Robbins says that emotions are the invisible force of internal drive.” We all have great minds and think intellectually, but it’s our emotions that makes the difference in the quality of our lives. Fulfillment, Robbins says, is an art and it’s all about appreciation and contribution. (Watch it at least 5:30-5:40 for the Al Gore high-five.)

2. You Can Grow New Brain Cells. Here’s How


Who doesn’t want more active brain cells? Neurocscientist Sanrine Thuret points out three things you can do to grow new brain cells through neurogenesis: Learning, sex, and running. Sounds good to us.

1. My Stroke of Insight

Brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor’s description of how the brain works and her experience after having a massive stroke is one of the most emotional TED talks you could watch. It’s about self-awareness, a near-death experience, and, most importantly, that we are all energy beings connected to the energy all around us—including each other. Whether or not you appreciate the spiritual undertones, Dr. Taylor’s note that “we have the power to choose, moment by moment, who and how we want to be in the world” is powerful advice.

7 Communication Skills to Succeed in Work and Life

7 Communication Skills to Succeed in Work and Life.

Communication is a requirement for almost any job and almost any life activity.  So the better you are communicating the better you will be in life.

Here are my top 7 communication skills to succeed in Work and Life: 1) Understand the intent of your communication, 2) Listen well,  3) Construct the Right Message and use the right channel, 4) Be short and to the point, 5) Understand nonverbal, 6) Look for and provide feedback, & 7) Be more attractive.

1. Understand The Intent of the Communication
We all begin communication with an intent to achieve some purpose. The Intent of what you want to achieve is the most important thing to focus on when you communicate. And you should also think about the intent of the person and/or group participating in the communication.  The more both sender and receiver agree on the Intent of the communication the more likely the outcome of the communication will be successful.

2. Listen Well
#1 above is the Intent of the communication. In order to achieve your intent you have to listen to the other person. You have to listen to the community. You have to listen to the Experts. You have to know if they understand your intent.

I recommend practicing active listening. Active listening involves paying close attention to what the other person is saying, asking clarifying questions, and rephrasing what the person says to ensure understanding (“So, what you’re saying is…”). Through active listening, you can better understand what the other person is trying to say, and can respond appropriately.

3. Constructing the Right Message and the right channel to Achieve your Intent
Once you know the Intent of your communication you need to construct the message and pick the best channel to achieve your intent. For example, some serious conversations (layoffs, changes in salary, etc.) are almost always best done in person. You should also think about the person with whom you wish to speak – if they are very busy people (such as your boss, perhaps), you might want to convey your message through email. People will appreciate your thoughtful means of communication, and will be more likely to respond positively to you.

4. Short and to the Point
I use the “2” sentences and shup-up strategy.  Here is the strategy I use:

  1. I figure out my intent.
  2. I construct the best message and pick the best channel to achieve my intent.
  3. I make my point in as few sentences as possible and then shut up and listen.

The fundamental key to effective communication is to state your intent in as few words as possible. Think of communication like a faucet or fire hose with “Data” as the water.  It is important to meter the flow of information to the context.  And it is ALWAYS better to use the least about of water to achieve the goal.

Say what you want clearly and directly, whether you’re speaking to someone in person, on the phone, or via email. If you ramble on, your listener will either tune you out or will be unsure of exactly what you want. Think about what you want to say before you say it; this will help you to avoid talking excessively and/or confusing your audience.

  • Verbal Communication Skills

5. Understand Nonverbal Communication
Your body language, eye contact, hand gestures, and tone all color the message you are trying to convey. A relaxed, open stance (arms open, legs relaxed), and a friendly tone will make you appear approachable, and will encourage others to speak openly with you. Eye contact is also important; you want to look the person in the eye to demonstrate that you are focused on the person and the conversation (however, be sure not to stare at the person, which can make him or her uncomfortable).
Also pay attention to other people’s nonverbal signals while you are talking. Often, nonverbal signals convey how a person is really feeling. For example, if the person is not looking you in the eye, he or she might be uncomfortable or hiding the truth.

  • Nonverbal Communication Skills

6. Look for and Provide Feedback
Giving and looking for feedback is critical to communication success. Managers and supervisors should continuously look for ways to provide employees with constructive feedback, be it through email, phone calls, or weekly status updates. Giving feedback involves giving praise as well – something as simple as saying “good job” to an employee can greatly increase motivation.

Similarly, you should be able to accept, and even encourage, feedback from others. Listen to the feedback you are given, ask clarifying questions if you are unsure of the issue, and make efforts to implement the feedback.

7. Be “More Attractive” and “Less Repulsive”
My father used to say that “you catch more flies with honey, than vinegar.”  Essentially the moral is: on average its better to be “Attractive” then “Repulsive.”  That is particularly true about communication.

Communication is about information.  And the more information you have the better the communication.  You will receive more information if you are open and attractive than if you are closed and/or repulsive.  So as a general rule, since we want as much information as we can get, it is better to be open and attractive.  The question I would have is why would anyone think being closed are repulsive be better for communication?

There are specific traits to enhance attractiveness:

  1. Friendliness: Through a friendly tone, a personal question, or simply a smile, you will encourage your coworkers to engage in open and honest communication with you. This is important in both face-to-face and written communication. When you can, personalize your emails to coworkers and/or employees – a quick “I hope you all had a good weekend” at the start of an email can personalize a message and make the recipient feel more appreciated.
  2. Empathy: – Even when you disagree with an employer, coworker, or employee, it is important for you to understand and respect their point of view. Using phrases as simple as “I understand where you are coming from” (And of course actually understanding where they are coming from) demonstrate that you have been listening to the other person and respect their opinions.
  3. Open-Mindedness: – A good communicator should enter any conversation with a flexible, open mind. Be open to listening to and understanding the other person’s point of view, rather than simply getting your message across. By being willing to enter into a dialogue, even with people with whom you disagree, you will be able to have more honest, productive conversations.
  4. Respect: – People will be more open to communicating with you if you convey respect for them and their ideas. Simple actions like using a person’s name, making eye contact, and actively listening when a person speaks will make the person feel appreciated. On the phone, avoid distractions and stay focused on the conversation.Convey respect through email by taking the time to edit your message. If you send a sloppily written, confusing email, the recipient will think you do not respect her enough to think through your communication with her.

Models of Communication

In order to understand how all this fits together I offer the following.

Simple Standard Model (Based on Shannon-Weaver Model)


Communication as a Process


 

 

7 Important Communication Skills to Get and Keep a Great Job

Communication is a requirement for almost any job and almost any life activity.

Here are the top 7 communication skills that will help you succeed in work and life.

1. Understand The Intent of the Communication
We all begin communication with an intent to achieve some purpose. The Intent of what you want to achieve is the most important thing to focus on when you communicate. And you should also think about the intent of the person and/or group participating in the communication.  The more both sender and receiver agree on the Intent of the communication the more likely the outcome of the communication will be successful.

2. Listening
#1 above is the Intent of the communication. In order to achieve your intent you have to listen to the other person. You have to listen to the community. You have to listen to the Experts. You have to know if they understand your intent.

I recommend practicing active listening. Active listening involves paying close attention to what the other person is saying, asking clarifying questions, and rephrasing what the person says to ensure understanding (“So, what you’re saying is…”). Through active listening, you can better understand what the other person is trying to say, and can respond appropriately.

3. Constructing the Right Message and the right channel to Achieve your Intent
Once you know the Intent of your communication you need to construct the message and pick the best channel to achieve your intent. For example, some serious conversations (layoffs, changes in salary, etc.) are almost always best done in person. You should also think about the person with whom you wish to speak – if they are very busy people (such as your boss, perhaps), you might want to convey your message through email. People will appreciate your thoughtful means of communication, and will be more likely to respond positively to you.

4. Short and to the Point
I use the “2” sentences and shup-up strategy.  Here is the strategy I use:

  1. I figure out my intent.
  2. I construct the best message and pick the best channel to achieve my intent.
  3. I make my point in as few sentences as possible and then shut up and listen.

The fundamental key to effective communication is to state your intent in as few words as possible. Think of communication like a faucet or fire hose with “Data” as the water.  It is important to meter the flow of information to the context.  And it is ALWAYS better to use the least about of water to achieve the goal.

Say what you want clearly and directly, whether you’re speaking to someone in person, on the phone, or via email. If you ramble on, your listener will either tune you out or will be unsure of exactly what you want. Think about what you want to say before you say it; this will help you to avoid talking excessively and/or confusing your audience.

  • Verbal Communication Skills

5. Nonverbal Communication
Your body language, eye contact, hand gestures, and tone all color the message you are trying to convey. A relaxed, open stance (arms open, legs relaxed), and a friendly tone will make you appear approachable, and will encourage others to speak openly with you. Eye contact is also important; you want to look the person in the eye to demonstrate that you are focused on the person and the conversation (however, be sure not to stare at the person, which can make him or her uncomfortable).
Also pay attention to other people’s nonverbal signals while you are talking. Often, nonverbal signals convey how a person is really feeling. For example, if the person is not looking you in the eye, he or she might be uncomfortable or hiding the truth.

  • Nonverbal Communication Skills

6. Feedback
Giving and looking for feedback is critical to communication success. Managers and supervisors should continuously look for ways to provide employees with constructive feedback, be it through email, phone calls, or weekly status updates. Giving feedback involves giving praise as well – something as simple as saying “good job” to an employee can greatly increase motivation.

Similarly, you should be able to accept, and even encourage, feedback from others. Listen to the feedback you are given, ask clarifying questions if you are unsure of the issue, and make efforts to implement the feedback.

7. Be “More Attractive” not “Less Repulsive”
My father used to say that “you catch more flies with honey, than vinegar.”  Essentially the moral is: on average its better to be “Attractive” then “Repulsive.”  That is particularly true about communication.

Communication is about information.  And the more information you have the better the communication.  You will receive more information if you are open and attractive than if you are closed and/or repulsive.  So as a general rule, since we want as much information as we can get, it is better to be open and attractive.  The question I would have is why would anyone think being closed are repulsive be better for communication?

There are specific traits the enhance attractiveness:

  1. Friendliness: Through a friendly tone, a personal question, or simply a smile, you will encourage your coworkers to engage in open and honest communication with you. This is important in both face-to-face and written communication. When you can, personalize your emails to coworkers and/or employees – a quick “I hope you all had a good weekend” at the start of an email can personalize a message and make the recipient feel more appreciated.
  2. Empathy: – Even when you disagree with an employer, coworker, or employee, it is important for you to understand and respect their point of view. Using phrases as simple as “I understand where you are coming from” (And of course actually understanding where they are coming from) demonstrate that you have been listening to the other person and respect their opinions.
  3. Open-Mindedness: – A good communicator should enter any conversation with a flexible, open mind. Be open to listening to and understanding the other person’s point of view, rather than simply getting your message across. By being willing to enter into a dialogue, even with people with whom you disagree, you will be able to have more honest, productive conversations.
  4. Respect: – People will be more open to communicating with you if you convey respect for them and their ideas. Simple actions like using a person’s name, making eye contact, and actively listening when a person speaks will make the person feel appreciated. On the phone, avoid distractions and stay focused on the conversation.Convey respect through email by taking the time to edit your message. If you send a sloppily written, confusing email, the recipient will think you do not respect her enough to think through your communication with her.

Models of Communication

In order to understand how all this fits together I offer the following.

Standard Model (Based on Shannon Weaver Model)


Communication as a Process


Putting the Standard Communication Model into a Process Flow.